No sooner had I posted about the Bally thing, than they contacted me again.
Sure as the sun rises in the East, they sent me their monthly “Restart Your Membership Today,” with no “unsubscribe” feature embedded. And I sent back my monthly “I am a lawyer and I will come after you,” email to Rick Contreras, Membership Services.
NB: Rick Contreras probably does not exist. He is probably a made-up Spambot, sending out form letters to reassure people like me that someone is really taking my complaints about the spaminating seriously.
But you can spam him back at memberservices [at] ballyfitness [dot] com.
Bally claims that I am receiving these emails because of my relationship with them. But the law says that if I have not done business with a company, or contacted them in over five years, I do not have to put up with this nonsense.
I have neither contacted them, nor done business with them in more than five years. The most I have done is I have been a part of a class action lawsuit against them for their shady billing practices, attempting to auto-bill people and co-opt them into memberships waaaay past the expiration date of the memberships for which they signed on.
Hmmm. Call me crazy, but it probably doesn’t take my two law degrees to figure out that being a part of a class action lawsuit against a company does not exactly constitute “doing business.”
Suppose, for an instant, that Rick Contreras actually does exist. My email signature has my blog address embedded in it. Maybe he’ll read my blog. Maybe he’ll see this and actually feel sorry for me; delete my address from the spam database, feel better about his life as a mere five-pound weight on the corporate Nautilus.
Or maybe he’s not a curious person, and he won’t check my blog; won’t press delete. Maybe he’ll just put my email address back into rotation; another day, another dollar. Another chance to make the crucial commission on the $19.99/mo membership that I would never in my right mind commit myself to purchasing.
Rick Contreras, the future of my email in-box is in your hands. Don’t let me down. Otherwise I’m going to have to spend another Saturday filling out FCC forms…and none of us want that.