Ho hum. Another day; another week; another to-do list ticked partially ticked off and forgotten.
Oh. You again. What are you doing here?
I know, I know. We used to be the best of friends…but times have changed, kid. I don’t need you anymore. I’ve outgrown you; moved on, I guess. I don’t want that hollow feeling — I want to feel full. You just don’t do it for me anymore.
Why can’t I feel full?
Why won’t you go away?
You’re always there: lurking in corners; malingering; shape-shifting. I think you’re gone, and then you’re not. You hide in the moments when I remember the empty aches; and the notgoodenoughs; and the women I didn’t look like; the things I couldn’t give; the control I didn’t have.
But I don’t miss you anymore. I just want you to go away.
It’s a war, you see, between you and me. And no matter how this battle of the wills is sliced, soon enough, you are going to be toast.