Winged Feet

Are you superstitious?  Mercury is in retrograde again.  This means the planet appears to be moving backwards through the Zodiac.  Or something.

I don’t pay much attention to the stars.  I couldn’t find a constellation if I tried.  But I tend towards the superstitious: no walking under ladders; no stepping on cracks.

But Mercury!  The winged-foot Roman messenger — father of the household gods; why did he mess with me so that last time he reverse-raced through the skies?  That last backwards tour left me battered and bruised — hit by a car and the victim of a serial ne’er-do-well in matters of the heart.

(The friend was first most supportive of me when I received the news about my ex-significant other, incidentally, is a member of the Athletic Club — the crest of which prominently features Mercury’s wings.)

So now the messenger is running backwards again, and I have returned to the Roman city I have come to like/love, and I wonder, what is in store for me this go-round?

I awoke on Wednesday morning to a message from my ex-husband, offering to reunite. Confusing; strange; unwelcome.  I wax romantic about the process of marriage and divorce, but, meanwhile, back in reality, I have no desire to be Mrs. L — ever again.

Part of the “blogging” process requires cutting the corners off of things; reducing things, people, experiences into bite-sized chunks.  If I were to condense seven years worth of a relationship into 800 words, I would do a disservice to all involved.  And while I’ve spent years doing a post-mortem on my marriage, it’s something I’d never want to revisit in real-time.

(Ironically, or perhaps, fittingly, the same wing-footed friend who is the member of the Athletic Club was on the phone with me the night that Andrew really fell apart.  They had made plans and Andrew wasn’t able to keep the date.  I’d had to break into Andrew’s blackberry; make the call.)

So what of this chunk of time where Mercury races backwards?

If you believe in astrology in the first place, maybe this backwards time is not necessarily a period when communications are fouled up, and lines are crossed, and we should all sit tight and wait out the storm.  As one article I read put it, maybe it is simply a time for learning from past mistakes, moving forward from them.  Mercury only gives the illusion of moving backwards — the planet is really moving ahead all along.  Perhaps a lookback of our own can be of value, even without forcing us to become stuck in reverse.

I have, even before Mercury turned retrograde, been ensconced in this process — looking back to move forward; being hyperconscious of the fact that moving ahead requires a look behind.

And so, on the day that I received the message from my ex-husband, I cracked open a fortune cookie that afternoon (as I am wont to do).

Contained therein was this utterly prophetic message:

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