Confessions of a Wounded Bird

Tomorrow would have been my eighth wedding anniversary.

This morning, I returned from 10 days in Japan.

Paul and I took off for a long holiday at the end of August, and I just landed back in New York today.  File that under “it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

And indeed, it was a very good idea.

We began the adventure in Tokyo, and then moved on to Hiroshima, Miyajima, Kyoto, Hakone, and back to Tokyo.  Trains, and hot springs, and tea, and hard tropical rain.

I only screamed at Paul a couple of times — once, notably, when he ate a tiramisu that had been sitting out for two days.

What?! he said defensively, I wanted to try that!

That was sitting out for two days, you fool! 

(He had not been made aware that I was the food safety police.)

(Which I am.)

Later, we were sitting on a train platform in Kyoto, in hazy afternoon sunshine, and I may or may not have been yelling about something, when I stopped myself.

I’m sorry, I said, I really am.  My ex-husband used to say that he only loved me when I was “behaving myself” and I feel like I haven’t been “behaving.”

Paul looked at me confused.  He looked at me like maybe I was an idiot.  He may have even laughed at me.

It was then that I realised that he did not really give a shit whether I “behaved.”  He had, after all, consumed a tiramisu that had been sitting out for two days.

Things work for different reasons, I am learning.  I suppose I had to go to Japan to see what could and could not work.

More stories and photos to come.

But in the meantime, I’m back from a little holiday break.

beard1

2 Comments

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  1. You are Home. The snaps you shared are Glorious. The whole “behaving” bit reminds me of the fact that I think of Marcus as My Patience When I Have None. For myself or for him.

    xx

    p.s. Your one eyebrow in the above photo looks really 11/10. Cannot explain this.

  2. Please post pics of Japan. I’m dying to go.

    I’m a very intense person and my ex-husband only liked me when I was drinking.

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