Reverb14 is a prompt-a-day series for the month of December designed to reflect on 2014 and project hopes and dreams for 2015. Throughout December,Sarah, Kat and I will post each day with a new prompt. Join us by writing, orjoin us by reading. Follow us on Twitter @project_reverb and #reverb14.
Letting go | For next year, I’m letting go of…
Do you ever feel like you suck at everything?
By all objective accounts, I’m a super successful person, and yet I frequently feel like I am an abject failure. There are things that I am simply not good at, and instead of focusing on the things I AM capable of doing well, I obsess over the things at which I am not perfect at doing.
This is silly, and wrong, and crazy-making, but it’s probably normal.
And it’s easy to say, Next year, I’m not going to be such a monster to myself.
But that never happens. It’s just another one of Those Things that gets pushed off to another year.
Here’s why it makes me crazy:
I am good at high-level thinking, but I sometimes get lost in details. I’m not always good at day-to-day implementation, so I surround myself with people who are excellent on-the-ground footsoldiers, when I am better at the strategy piece. Where I am better at being crowd-facing, and good with meeting-running, and being verbal, I make sure to hire and work with people who’d rather do numbers and support those other functions, so we have a seamless team. I support my own weaknesses, but somehow feel like crap because I have the weakness in the first place.
It’s dumb that I feel that way.
And it’s dumb that I get itchy-angry at the girls who post pictures of their perfect kids and perfect crafts and perfect crock-pot dinners all over social media, when my dog is scruffy, and my beautiful new house is a contractor-induced disaster, and (true story), every time I have ever so much as looked at a crock-pot, it has turned into the stuff of nightmares.
So here’s what I’m letting go of next year:
It’s not judgment. It’s not frustration. It’s not any of those Big Things that are probably never going to go away.
I’m letting go of the idea that I’m ever going to be the kind of woman who makes something from the Pioneer Woman cookbook. Or who creates one of Nigella Lawson’s desserts and has it look like something other than poo on a plate.
Because I don’t own a crockpot; I don’t like pot roast or red meat or cheddar biscuits or anything that remotely resembles any of the things that my friends are making and posting on social media. I’m more than capable of cooking a delicious meal, but that’s not my lifestyle. My preferred method if eating is grab-and-go from the organic market or clicking a few buttons and having the doorbell ring with Seamless Web.
I love your beautiful food blogs, but I’m a woman who just bought an apartment that has a kitchen which is gorgeous to look at, but we later discovered it doesn’t have any drawers.
I’m never going to be a Domestic Goddess. That’s okay.