Victory Laps

Reverb14 is a prompt-a-day series for the month of December designed to reflect on 2014 and project hopes and dreams for 2015.  Throughout December,SarahKat and I will post each day with a new prompt.  Join us by writing, orjoin us by reading.   Follow us on Twitter @project_reverb and #reverb14.

Victory LapsWhat was your biggest accomplishment this year?

Let’s not kid ourselves: I had a weird year. I had two pelvic surgeries – albeit for very different reasons. I had to be ferocious at work. I took a bunch of securities licensing exams. I even found time to run a couple of half marathons, and one beautiful but shitty marathon.

I would call this a busy year. I would not call it a banner year.

Then came November, and the big professional project I’d worked on for 10 months and that I thought would be cancelled got approval from the regulators. Three days later, we closed on our apartment. Two weeks after that, I moved into said apartment. Five days later, Paul proposed.

What I am saying, in a roundabout way, is that when you have pelvic surgery, it’s like someone is monkeying with your core. You start to feel unmoored. You don’t feel that you can trust yourself. You’re not sure you can stand up straight. You cry a lot in yoga, for no apparent reason. You start to question whether you will ever do the things that are familiar to you ever again — which is an irrational thing, because you will — but it’s really quite a weird thing, that Thing that happens when they go messing with your center.

My biggest accomplishment this year, I suppose, is not any of the individual parts, but the sum thereof. I survived it. And not just that — I survived, and I asked for help, and I delegated work, and I shared the experience. Maybe I didn’t write about it, but I shared it in Real Life.

And this struck me most obviously the day after Thanksgiving, when I was on a trail run in Yosemite with my cousin – it’s a trail that I’ve run for many years, but it wasn’t something that I ever did with anyone else. Partly because no one else was really a runner; but partly because I always made So Clear that I was a Lone Wolf.

We ran and talked and pounded over the Swinging Bridge and back over the trail behind the Wawona Hotel and down towards the stables. And we chatted, and huffed and puffed up the hills. And for one, I was out on a five mile run, which in and of itself was a remarkable thing. But for another thing, we were sharing this great experience that I’d only ever kept to myself.

I’d been rattled before and not learned anything so profound. But now, for once, I’d finally learned the thing that toddlers learn before they hit school-age: Sharing is good. And that was the big, small victory for the this year.

(Sun setting on the Wawona Dome)

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