Purging

Reverb14 is a prompt-a-day series for the month of December designed to reflect on 2014 and project hopes and dreams for 2015.  Throughout December,SarahKat and I will post each day with a new prompt.  Join us by writing, or join us by reading.   Follow us on Twitter @project_reverb and #reverb14.

Purging | What did you get rid of this year?  Physical things you tossed out or donated?  Or did you purge a bad relationship, job, etc…?

For years, I wore the same ratty pair of white linen drawstring trousers. With these pants, I was like Linus with his blanket.

Lucy_Blanket

(Via Peanuts Wiki)

About five years ago, they finally bit the dust. But I could not bear to part with them. I had worn them to graduations and parties and Fourth of July. I had worn them all through my university days. I had worn them through law school, and being a young newlywed, and into being a wizened divorcee.

I had stitched them back together when the linen had eventually ripped from the seam. I had patched and patched until the linen eventually could no longer hold. It actually disintegrated. I had loved them to death.

IMG_4263

With regard to keeping these pants in a box under my bed, I have no real explanation. I’m not someone who hangs on to things, for the most part. But there’s a part of me that wants to hang on to my old life — hang on like hell — because change is scary. No matter how much I like what’s new and what’s happening now, I got here wearing these pants.

But now, I’ve got to throw them away. Because they’re not actual trousers anymore. They’re past their useful life. They served me well, and they were beautiful, and useful, and made me feel terrific and lovely and wonderful during Up and Down moments, but now they are nothing more than scraps.

They are garbage. And they have to go.

So I did what any person who has loved a thing that has to be thrown away does — I cut a corner off of them, and then I stuck them in the bin.

(NB: I don’t think that these are the Velveteen Rabbit or something. My pants are not going to Become Real. That would be terrifying.)

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